The first step is admittance.

In 2009 there were 2 big events in my life. The biggest was the birth of my awesome and handsome son. The second was the engagement of my sister to her boyfriend. This would be her second wedding, and the 3rd wedding in which I had to stand in front of friends and family and be well, the fat sister. In September 2009 when she got engaged I did not completely realize my size. I knew I was big, but we all see something better then what it is in the mirror, and I was definitely blind to my size, until August 1st 2010 that is. That was the day of my cousins wedding, when exactly 2 pictures were taken of me.

See the purple lard with no head? That`s me.

Yeah, that's all I needed to see. And lets face it, no one needed to see that.
So I vowed that I would not be the fat sister standing in front of my family and friends this time. I was fat at her first wedding, I was fat at my wedding, not this time. So I vowed to lose 75 pounds. I weighed 225 when this picture was taken, and I was squeezing into a size 18.
So I joined the gym. Whatever, lots of people do, no big deal. And I dieted, again no big deal, lots of people do and miraculously March came, and I sat at home while my sister went to Vegas and eloped. Yup, she got married, and I wasn't there. By this time I had lost a bit of weight, and had gone down a few pant sizes, so of course despite this change in plans I didn't give up. I continued working hard and to this date I have lost some weight, and gone down a few pant sizes, gained energy and blah blah blah. Who cares!?
People lose weight every day. People gain weight everyday, this is not about my becoming a bikini model, cause that will never happen as the stretch marks are still there, and no one wants to see me in a bikini.
So one night, after almost 2 years we had people over. My husbands band was playing, my parents were taking my son over night, and I wanted to be normal again and have friends over. My friend Emily showed up with her new boyfriend Dave. As I was chatting with the 2 of them Dave mentions some friends of his have started a new Roller Derby league in Moncton.
Interesting.
Not really something I considered before. A league began in town over a year ago, but working my M-F 1-9 shift allowed me very little time with my family already, and I was fat and lazy. I'm not saying if you are overweight you are lazy, I'm saying I was.
So I began facebook stalking Dieppe Roller Derby. Not saying anything to anyone about my interest because I was a little nervous people would think I was stupid. Then one day, a few months later I was walking through the market with my son, husband and father in law, and sitting at a booth were the lovely ladies of the Dieppe Roller Derby. I walked by and smiled and didn't talk to anyone. The one thing I did notice was that an older man was pestering a poor girl and she was smiling and patient the whole time. That's what I needed, someone who was gonna be patient if I decided to my butt up on skates as I'm a klutz on sneakers.
So on the way home I finally spit out the words "I wanna join roller derby. And I think I wanna join Dieppe."
To which my husband said "Well maybe you should have talked to someone at the market."
A valid point.
So I came home and e-mailed them asking if I could go watch. I was never told I couldn't go watch, but it was pretty clear I would be on skates if I came out. My friend Emily had shown interest in joining Roller Derby when it began a year ago, so I had e-mailed her a few weeks prior asking her to come check it out with me, she didn't respond. So a few days before I strapped skates to my feet for the first time in 19 years, I sent her another message asking if she wanted to come with me on Wednesday. Turns out she did!