Stupid tests!

In order to become a bulldozer on wheels, I mean a kind, beautiful graceful derby girl you must pass some tests. I know, I thought my school days were over to, however these tests involve less studying and more skill. I'm sure you can half ass your way through these tests, there is always an easy way out, however I don't think you would want to get on the track with a bunch of girls who excelled at their testing cause if you do, you goin down bitch!
I mean you may fall and hurt yourself you poor thing.

It's like this, while driving have you ever get stuck behind... a cab driver. In my town they are pretty awful drivers usually. Or those people that must come to almost a complete stop before taking a turn, yeah those assholes they half assed it through their driving test, and have been pissing everyone on the road off ever since! In their case, being overly cautious,  using the wrong turning signal every time, or not at all is just stupidity that may never cause an accident, just allot of middle fingers and people behind them frantically waving their arms in anger. No moron, I am not cheering you on, that is me mad!

So for the stupid bitch, I mean lovely goddess of the sun and moon, my goodness my turettes are all over the place this morning, that half asses it through the test, well I hope you paid your insurance cause I ain't looking back as you're flying through the air seconds away from landing what is sure to be a painful and possibly life altering position. 

It is not only your responsibility to ensure you pass these tests and can do them properly, but you're coaches job. He/She is the one watching you, teaching you, and building your skill. If he/she can't skate, well then you're pretty much out of luck in my opinion. I can read an instruction manual to, doesn't mean I'm ready to perform even the simplest of surgeries. And if he/she takes on to many players, then how do you know he's watching you close enough to make sure you're doing it right. You will in your derby career come up against girls that you cannot figure out how they got the okay to bout, if you come up against my girls, well then be sure, we all got the okay after our coached watched us and perfected us, and if you half assed it, well be afraid.

But if you make it to the after party BF4Life kay!