How not to recruit!

So recently I am co-heading the recruitment committee with I'd Hit That.
This is fine, because I can sit behind a computer and hide, and respond to e-mails, and facebook posts, and at no point really need to make eye contact with anyone, this showing them how ridiculously awkward I actually am.
I have handed a few things out, however it has always started with "You play roller derby? I always wanted to try that!"
*Insert random roller derby and why you should join explanation here*
I am not so great at initiating the conversations or asking getting right up in your face and screaming for the world to hear "ROLLER DERBY IS AWESOME! DOOOOOOOOO IT!"
I'd Hit that is however, so it works.
So this is how not to recruit.
I had to go to SNB to register a trailer for work.
Fine, I walk through the door and it hits me I forgot to fill out the account paperwork to have them charge this to head office and not try to take the money from my bank account.
Not that it would be there anyway, but that's a whole other blog post for a different time.
So I send random harassing text messages to a co-worker who is in the office so he will contact me with the numbers I need to fill out the paperwork there.
And trust me, they were pretty annoying text messages.
I get the number and they call my number.
Now I noticed there was a girl there I was not used to when I walked in, and I thought to myself, "If she serves me I am handing her a recruiting card."
So I get her, but they can't find the form I need, so I sit back down and send yet more harassing texts to the same co-worker and get him to fax me a copy of the form I need. Have I mentioned at this point it is creeping up on an hour since I walked in!
So of course the longer I'm there the more my nerves start to get to me, but I already told myself I was giving her this card, so I have to do it!

SCREW YOU SHYNESS! I WILL BEAT YOU INTO THE GROUND ONE EMBARASSING AWKWARD ENCOUNTER AT A TIME!

So the form gets faxed, I go back up and fill it out, get the registration, sign everything, say thank you then put the card I have been holding in my sweaty palms in front of her ont he desk and say "thisisforyou" and run away!
Well not run, but I did get up and move rather quickly.
I looked back and she took the card and was looking at it, but I felt like a complete dope!
*smacks head repeatedly*
Why can't I just be normal?